EAST HAMPTON, NY–Emphasizing that the venerable East Hampton institution is eager to shed its “fuddy-duddy reputation,” Maidstone Club Secretary Mrs. Charles Worthington-Smythe announced to reporters today that the club has accepted its first musician member, Lil Nas X. “In the past, we were reluctant when musicians applied to the club, as we know they often smoke reefer and associate with Jewish people, but times have changed and we’re glad to change along with them. Mr. X is very successful, I’m told, so he’ll be able to easily afford the club’s initiation fee and annual dues. I also understand that Mr. X is a confirmed bachelor, but I’m sure he just hasn’t met the right girl yet. We have many lovely young debutantes among our junior members. Perhaps he could play doubles on one of our grass tennis courts.”
At press time, a horrified Mrs. Worthington-Smyth had fainted when she found out Lil Nas X is black.